Mr. Ping Ping

" Yao Ming Ming should be ping ping. Neither have bling bling and yet to win a thing thing (ring ring!). If that aint enough to win win it aint nuthin but a chicken wing wing. Plus Yao would look awesome in an oversized bowtie…I mean it’s gotta be something like a kite, right. p.s my apologies to Mr Ping ping cos he definitely doesn’t need bling to get anymore gangsta. He’s my new idol in a holdall. HAND LUGGAGE!!!! And for those of you who haven’t heard Mr. Ping Ping speak it kinda sounds like on that old video Worms when they shout “incoming”. True that. “Video game”…not video, I’m sooo 2001 at times, or 2019 for our brothers and sisters in Kazakstan. Yashimash! I’ve just had a weird thought. Maybe he’s called He Ping Ping because no one wanted to play table tennis with him at school (cue weird flashbacks to Forest Gump in rehab)…. I mean if you can’t even see over the table its the only sound you’re gunna hear!!!! I think Mr Ping ping is affecting me on as profound a level as Lang. (Disclaimer: there is nothing funny about people with disablities (I have them myself), but there is nothing wrong with making fun of peoples names: my first name is Grenville, and my surname is Ham (a la Darvin)….nuff said). oh, and my name is not my disability by the way, well not since 12th grade. He also reminds me of Boobie Gibson….don’t you just wanna hug them and take them home? OK that’s enough, I aint gunna win squat. I’m outta here like Omar (where you at bro’). "

Now this very unhappy post and distint subject was brought upon matters of a forum for a monthly magazine called Slam. Now this was practically exactly a year ago, (July 31, 2007) and I was just browsing online; bored. So I went to the official site of Slam Magazine and checked out all the contests and forums, and came upon a very odd subject of A Mr. Ping Ping in the NBA. It explained it such:

" Yesterday I linked to this story about the world’s tallest man meeting the world’s smallest man, which I enjoyed on several levels — that odd looking giant (wearing adidas), the tiny man with the oddly fastened bow tie. "
Quoth from Lang Whitetaker VIA Slamonline

So to make matters worse, It just had to be a comparison of a crazy small dude to an NBA Player, as you will see in this next excert:

"As for Mr. Ping Ping, there’s not a lot of information about him on the internet. Beside the story I linked to earlier, I found this story, which basically just repeats a lot of the same information. And there’s this video, but we don’t even get to hear from Mr. Ping Ping on the video.
Anyway, I like Mr. Ping Ping. I like what he stands for and the way he attaches his bow tie. I like the way he’s standing in this photo, hands on hips, as though he’s expecting something to happen but he’s not quite sure what. But mostly I like his name: He Ping Ping. And Mr. Ping Ping cracks me up every time I hear it.
So now we need to make sure his name stays out there, and I think the best way to do that is by appropriating his name for an NBA player. Which is where you guys come in.
Put some thought into this. "

Truthfully at this point I was going to turn back, but Inevitabbly I was compelled to stay. So It was actually a few days into the competition, and I was scrolling down to see some posts of what people had thought of. Here they are:

sefos says:i think one option should be Martynas Andriuskevicius, simply because Mr ping ping is so much easier to pronounce

Ben Collins says:You like what he stands for? What does he stand for? The Chinese National Anthem?

So after a couple of posts I thought that maybe It was strictly just for fun, and maybe I could get a kick out of this. So The next day, first in the morning, I log on and post; Probally Spud Webb That just got a free facial dunk on his head after a trip to the clothes department. I thought that might get some hype, noyze, and buzz, but no,no...

Out of nowhere comes an evil-chirping menace from the wastelands and bowels of hell! An Un-Jolly bad Fellow who we surely can Deny!!!! His preposterous name was a wretched one, that will surely scare the new kids on the block out of the local Chuckee Chees's.
His name was........ Grenner!!!!!!!!!

He made a desperate frenzy and medley of posts as if to ricule the whole operation! (If you want to read the whole thing, go back to the top of this post) He somehow knew that there was only minutes to spare. And as if to sniper all of the clever comments made by fellow fans, He made a closure of disgust and dismay to the game: A direct insult to himself, his family, his country, his name, his social stability, and the whole contest itself!

As fellow forum stars watched in horror ( and me being a newbie, watched in terrible horror) the contest ending like that! And slowly but surely... A post came from the headmaster... The winner was nobody but Grenville ham himself. I was crushed... A man looking to make the whole world a worse place get's the better, spoiled with prizes and luxury.

At the end of this dilema.... All I can do Is look up to the sky and think... Who said Life is fair?
- Aaron Roos